Theresa May to ban foreign holidays




Justifying her decision to the ever attentive and sycophantic BBC, Mrs May said ‘tourism encourages one to lose their senses and make somewhat ridiculous and self serving decisions, as indeed I did when taking a foreign walking holiday in Snowdonia in the country of Wales recently.

In the name of unity and bringing the United Kingdom together,  I feel that it is better at this time of uncertainty and discord that my strong and stable government places a ban on all forms of foreign travel because an Englishman or abroad is clearly not to be trusted’

It is still not clear at this stage if the bussed in spectators who wildly applauded Mrs May’s latest pledge will be able to stay in Cardiff tonight or whether, in the name of obeying the leader, they will be bussed back to Maidstone from whence they came.



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